The amount of times I’ve almost written a blog post
regarding my views as a feminist is out of the ballpark, but after a while,
regularly seeing complete ignorance and general lack of understanding all over my social
media feeds gets old really fast.
This is not an attack on anyone, I’m simply trying to give
myself a little peace of mind in hopes that at least one or two people will
read this and maybe learn something from it. I’m just scratching the surface
here and hitting the points I see most talked about by my peers.
Feminist. Feminism. Two words that ¾ of the American
population do not understand. Believe it or not, feminism for most women is not bra-burning and
head-shaving. And if it is, then that’s okay, do what you want! When I write
this post, I am speaking for myself, but I’m sure a few if not most of my lady
friends will agree with what I have to say.
On chivalry: I’m not going to lie, it is nice when a man
holds a door open, gives up his seat for a woman, or even pays for dinner. I’m
not someone who is going to see this happen and protest because it’s “sexist”,
because honestly, most men were brought up and taught by their parents that
this was the polite or correct thing to do. I appreciate chivalry because it is
mostly formed from good intentions and comes from a good place. HOWEVER, the
origin of chivalry and the reason these customs came about is because women,
for thousands of years, have been seen as ‘unable’, and they’ve definitely been
seen as inferior. When you dig a little deeper into tradition, when a couple goes
on a date and the man pays, this is his demonstration that he will be able to
provide for the woman. That is what it boils down to. My counterargument to
chivalry is not that I think it’s sexist or that it is necessarily wrong, but
rather that I do not want to be taken care of because a man thinks I am unable
to take care of myself. I do not have a problem holding the door for a man, and
I think it’s healthy and normal for guys and girls to take turns paying for
meals. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a girl paying for dinner, and I
certainly am not going to talk badly about any guy who doesn’t offer to pay. Honestly,
if I have anything bad to say about a date when I’m filling in my girlfriends,
it probably has something to do with a bad joke you made or what you had to say
– not whether or not you paid for dinner.
Subject change. Reasons why girls may react negatively to
compliments, the good ole’ “up-down”, and everyone’s favorite, cat calls:
1.
Compliments. Compliments given to women from men
generally stem from sexual desire. It is that simple. Why else would you be so
butthurt when we react negatively? “You are beautiful”, “That dress fits you
well”, or something of that sort, no matter how many lovely little adjectives
you use to embellish it, will not be accepted in the manner you want it to be
if we do not reciprocate that attraction. I am not obligated to react
positively just because you made the effort.
2.
Staring, checking out, and the “up-down”. Many
men wonder why girls do not like being stared at because they are under the impression that
their attention should be flattering. If I am out with friends at a bar,
restaurant, or any other place for that matter, I do not appreciate being
stared at like a piece of meat, there is nothing else to it. Do not give me the
smolder and a smirk, I am not here for your viewing pleasure, I am a human
being, thank you very much.
3.
Oh, cat calls. Like staring and compliments, men
seem to think that their attentions and affections should always be welcomed
because “it’s flattering” or “I’m just being nice”. No. You are being invasive
and disrespectful. I remember as a twelve year-old girl walking to the Tom
Thumb with my friends for an Icee, we would be honked at and yelled at by men
in passing cars. I didn’t even have boobs yet! How do people still find this
acceptable? Women should be able to walk down the street in their smallest
bikini and not get any backlash or unsolicited attention from anyone, because it’s completely
acceptable for men to walk around without shirts on or with their pants hanging
around their knees, and no one thinks anything of it. Women are not pieces of art sitting around waiting to be
critiqued or judged or compared to other pieces of art. We are human beings
with real thoughts and opinions, and those are the things that count and should
be sought after, not our butts
.
Another misconception about feminists: we hate men and think
we are better than them. This is not true. There are exceptions to every
generalization, but feminism today is not based upon the notion that women are
better than men, it is based on the thinking that women are just as much human
beings as men are, and that we deserve the same rights, representation, and
compensation that men do. I need feminism because women still only make 77%
(according to Forbes as of 4/7/2014) of the earnings men do working full-time
year round. Until women receive the same amount of recognition and
representation that men do, I have no problem ‘putting men in their place’ as
men have been doing to women for too long now.
Call me an angry feminist with no time on my hands, call me
a little girl who doesn’t know what she’s talking about, say what you want
about how I’m “not getting any”. I just hope that through this post, you have
learned a little about how feminism works and how it doesn’t, and why some
women act the way they do towards you.