This One's for the Girls

The amount of times I’ve almost written a blog post regarding my views as a feminist is out of the ballpark, but after a while, regularly seeing complete ignorance and general lack of understanding all over my social media feeds gets old really fast.

This is not an attack on anyone, I’m simply trying to give myself a little peace of mind in hopes that at least one or two people will read this and maybe learn something from it. I’m just scratching the surface here and hitting the points I see most talked about by my peers.

Feminist. Feminism. Two words that ¾ of the American population do not understand. Believe it or not, feminism for most women is not bra-burning and head-shaving. And if it is, then that’s okay, do what you want! When I write this post, I am speaking for myself, but I’m sure a few if not most of my lady friends will agree with what I have to say.

On chivalry: I’m not going to lie, it is nice when a man holds a door open, gives up his seat for a woman, or even pays for dinner. I’m not someone who is going to see this happen and protest because it’s “sexist”, because honestly, most men were brought up and taught by their parents that this was the polite or correct thing to do. I appreciate chivalry because it is mostly formed from good intentions and comes from a good place. HOWEVER, the origin of chivalry and the reason these customs came about is because women, for thousands of years, have been seen as ‘unable’, and they’ve definitely been seen as inferior. When you dig a little deeper into tradition, when a couple goes on a date and the man pays, this is his demonstration that he will be able to provide for the woman. That is what it boils down to. My counterargument to chivalry is not that I think it’s sexist or that it is necessarily wrong, but rather that I do not want to be taken care of because a man thinks I am unable to take care of myself. I do not have a problem holding the door for a man, and I think it’s healthy and normal for guys and girls to take turns paying for meals. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a girl paying for dinner, and I certainly am not going to talk badly about any guy who doesn’t offer to pay. Honestly, if I have anything bad to say about a date when I’m filling in my girlfriends, it probably has something to do with a bad joke you made or what you had to say – not whether or not you paid for dinner.

Subject change. Reasons why girls may react negatively to compliments, the good ole’ “up-down”, and everyone’s favorite, cat calls:

1.     Compliments. Compliments given to women from men generally stem from sexual desire. It is that simple. Why else would you be so butthurt when we react negatively? “You are beautiful”, “That dress fits you well”, or something of that sort, no matter how many lovely little adjectives you use to embellish it, will not be accepted in the manner you want it to be if we do not reciprocate that attraction. I am not obligated to react positively just because you made the effort.

2.     Staring, checking out, and the “up-down”. Many men wonder why girls do not like being stared at because they are under the impression that their attention should be flattering. If I am out with friends at a bar, restaurant, or any other place for that matter, I do not appreciate being stared at like a piece of meat, there is nothing else to it. Do not give me the smolder and a smirk, I am not here for your viewing pleasure, I am a human being, thank you very much.

3.     Oh, cat calls. Like staring and compliments, men seem to think that their attentions and affections should always be welcomed because “it’s flattering” or “I’m just being nice”. No. You are being invasive and disrespectful. I remember as a twelve year-old girl walking to the Tom Thumb with my friends for an Icee, we would be honked at and yelled at by men in passing cars. I didn’t even have boobs yet! How do people still find this acceptable? Women should be able to walk down the street in their smallest bikini and not get any backlash or unsolicited attention from anyone, because it’s completely acceptable for men to walk around without shirts on or with their pants hanging around their knees, and no one thinks anything of it. Women are not pieces of art sitting around waiting to be critiqued or judged or compared to other pieces of art. We are human beings with real thoughts and opinions, and those are the things that count and should be sought after, not our butts

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Another misconception about feminists: we hate men and think we are better than them. This is not true. There are exceptions to every generalization, but feminism today is not based upon the notion that women are better than men, it is based on the thinking that women are just as much human beings as men are, and that we deserve the same rights, representation, and compensation that men do. I need feminism because women still only make 77% (according to Forbes as of 4/7/2014) of the earnings men do working full-time year round. Until women receive the same amount of recognition and representation that men do, I have no problem ‘putting men in their place’ as men have been doing to women for too long now.

Call me an angry feminist with no time on my hands, call me a little girl who doesn’t know what she’s talking about, say what you want about how I’m “not getting any”. I just hope that through this post, you have learned a little about how feminism works and how it doesn’t, and why some women act the way they do towards you.

Teaching in France, oh la la!

A new year, a new semester. My last semester. Wait, what?

The last two months literally flew by. I feel like just yesterday I was sitting in my American literature class slowly trudging through Uncle Tom’s Cabin. Thank the gods the semester from hell is over. This time around, I’m in control. I’m making these classes my bitches, not the other way around. Granted, I’m enrolled in 7 more credit hours than I was in the fall, but it’s nothing I can’t handle.

More importantly, my graduation date is looming over my head, laughing at me as it peeks around the corner. Most people I’ve talked to who are graduating this semester are terrified, unsure of what their plans are or where to start. I’ll admit I’m a little wary of what is to come, but just yesterday I submitted my application to the Teaching Assistant Program in France, which if I’m accepted into, will require me to move to France in late September. Euh…quoi?

Zat eez correct! There is a distinct possibility that all my dreams will come true this year and I’ll be moving to Europe. Granted, I won’t be living in Paris, but I’ll take whatever I can get. The TAPIF program pays post-graduates between the ages of twenty and thirty to teach English in schools of all levels all over France. The pay is a little dismal, especially after taxes, but it’s just enough to get by. Of course I’ll have to take on a summer job or two to pay my way there, (and first month’s rent…I’ll also have to find an apartment, yikes!) but at this point, I’ll do absolutely anything to make sure that I’ll be in France before the year is out.

This is the hard part, I suppose. The waiting. I won’t find out if I’ve been accepted into the program until early April…a whole three months away! To say my fingers are permanently crossed is an understatement.  I truly hope that everything works out for me, because an opportunity like this is definitely a once in a lifetime deal.

Till next time, mes amis, bisous!